Trying isn't always good enough

It's funny how things changes. A year ago, I would have thought "wow, I will never be able to go through anything without you to help me". Now I realize that I've been through so much crap, and I did it without you. This is the point where I stand tall and say "I don't need you". All those times where I was close to tears, and I was just about to pick up the phone and call you, but I was clever enough to leave it. I never let you in, which was the most clever thing I've ever done. Because now I know how to survive without you. This was a year ago. And the only difference is that now, I have no choice.

I don't know when I will be able to forgive and forget, but it will happen when I'm ready or when I choose to erase you. That is the hardest part.

I've spent so many minutes, hours, days, feeling sorry for myself. I've thought of all the people that have left me, and that your life is so perfect and cried over that I'm not a part of it. But in the end, it's you I feel sorry for. Because when the day comes when you lose everything, I will for the first time watch you sink lower than me, and I may even look into your eyes and say that I can't help you.

You actually used to be the person I looked up to. But now you have really messed it up. I just hope you don't lose the only thing you have left. Because it will destroy you.

The truth is that I still love you, and I want what's best for you. I just don't need you or want you anymore. But you don't care anyway so I'll just pray for you in silence. This is me swallowing my pride. Unbelievable?

nr. 13'

 

 

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silvercross

silvercross

15, Oslo

Vi er to jenter fra Norge, som skriver om våre tanker, meninger og diverse andre ting. Innleggene kan være både på engelsk og norsk. Btw, kommentarer er alltid koselig :D

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